Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Appearances
I give this topic a lot of thought; probably more than is necessary. Not so much my personal outward appearance, but more the thought of what me, my family, my home, my life look like to the outside world. Now, some would stop me there and say "Who cares what people think?" And, to that I would agree. I'm not sure I care (in terms of how they judge it) but more I'd love to know just what they see. This is on my mind because I've recently made a new friend and she's awesome. She's from church and what comes across to me about her is her ability to be totally authentic. She's one of those real people. By real I mean open, honest, easy to talk to, kind... Here's the thing; that got me thinking about how real I am (if I am) and how that comes across to people who are getting to know me. Everyone of us "adults" puts on a facade to try and hide behind so that no one gets too close. From the clothes we wear (and the importance we place on them), to the car we drive, etc. To me, both of the aforementioned are only nominally important. I do really try to live a life that is real and imperfect and faithful. I wonder how that comes across? Does anyone ever think like this and if so, how do you think you come across?
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5 comments:
Funny I think the same way as you. I've also thought about this subject because I have a friend (you know who) who is constantly looking/acting a certain way so people think that she has everything. She always is judging other people by what they wear, etc. I find this so juvenile. She's even had the audacity to say things to me like "Why did you buy that purse in THAT color, that's weird" um, what does it matter to you which color purse I have?? She's never said anything complementary about Lucy, or Jason for that matter. She thinks we are bad parents for putting Lucy into daycare 3 days a week, because "She would NEVER leave her child with anyone". I can go on and on... Why I'm still friends with her, I just don't know, but it's fading fast. It's like breaking up with someone you've been with for 10 years, it takes time. lol
Anyway it's sad that some people are this way and can't be totally happy with themselves and so they have to put up a front.
Oh, to answer your question... Honestly I don't care too much what people think of me. I'm a nice, loyal person, I love my family, my life and I couldn't be any happier. BUT I do think about how I look when I'm around my other friends, because they are always trying to keep up with the latest trends. I just try and look as nice as I can with what I can afford, Old Navy and Target, lol I feel like a frumpy mess around them most of the time. ;)
I think this is something that most people think about at some level or another whether they want to acknowledge it or not, or want to care about it or not. We're surrounded by judgments and opinions and sometimes it is difficult not to get caught up in them one way or the other.
The manner in which you wrote about this topic itself is so forthright, introspective and open that it shows exactly how you are. You think things through, you don't rush to judge, you're open and honest about how you feel about topics and how they effect you and your life and you're always interested in hearing others opinions. These are but some of the qualities I admire. In my eyes you've got it all together and I'm very proud to call you my friend.
As one who also wonders, I know I've a ways to go, but I hope I'm on the right path. xxx Siobhan
i'll tell you how you come across...genuine, open, honest and sincere. right off the bat. you are easy not just to talk to, but to OPEN up to. i value your opinion and know that i won't be judged for mine. you are completely unpretentious. you are thoughtful, both as a mother and friend. i know if i am going to talk to you about something, i am getting your full attention. it won't just be a gripe session, but you will make me think of things in a positive, useful way.
Laura, I knew you would "get" this... I love what you said about just doing what you can afford. That's the best way to live! Too many of us get caught up in what others have or appear to have and then we feel like we don't measure up. That's such a lie! I'm thankful for friends that don't place so much emphasis on the "stuff" in life :) Your friend who judges you about your choices for your child is a tough one. No one can judge; it's not our place. You keep being you! Siobhan, thank you for your words and email about this post. I DO NOT have it all together; I'm such a work in progress it's not even funny. I think that the more honest we can be as moms who stay home, the better. We can break through that feeling of isolation that comes upon us and really relate. I love that I've had you around since the beginning of this adventure called motherhood :) You're amazing!! Rosana, your kind words made my eyes sting! I even read it aloud to Gabe this morning. You're too kind and the way you see me is EXACTLY how I see you. That's pretty awesome! Thank you for taking the time to comment ladies :)
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