Appearances

I give this topic a lot of thought; probably more than is necessary. Not so much my personal outward appearance, but more the thought of what me, my family, my home, my life look like to the outside world. Now, some would stop me there and say "Who cares what people think?" And, to that I would agree. I'm not sure I care (in terms of how they judge it) but more I'd love to know just what they see. This is on my mind because I've recently made a new friend and she's awesome. She's from church and what comes across to me about her is her ability to be totally authentic. She's one of those real people. By real I mean open, honest, easy to talk to, kind... Here's the thing; that got me thinking about how real I am (if I am) and how that comes across to people who are getting to know me. Everyone of us "adults" puts on a facade to try and hide behind so that no one gets too close. From the clothes we wear (and the importance we place on them), to the car we drive, etc. To me, both of the aforementioned are only nominally important. I do really try to live a life that is real and imperfect and faithful. I wonder how that comes across? Does anyone ever think like this and if so, how do you think you come across?

Friday 8:52am

Baby Pool Party

Here are a few pictures from the very successful Baby Pool Party yesterday afternoon. The girls had a blast and visiting with the puppies was awesome too! The puppy that Gabe is holding is Olivia. She is the biggest one of the bunch! Enjoy :)

Weekend

Just realized it's been a long time since I signed in and blogged. So, things around here are generally the same. Grace is really working on walking and part of that means that she keeps waking around 11pm to "visit" Gabe and I and practice her bipedal skills. Good thing we are still up at that time, so it's really no big deal. Maddie is working on her potty skills. Sometimes successful, often not. But, trying nonetheless and in turn we're trying to keep that in perspective.
No real plans for the weekend. Maybe having Gabe's cousin and girlfriend for brunch on Sunday after church (Gabe's already planning the menu :) Maybe some swimming, grilling, etc. I had so dreaded summer and now that we are in the middle of it, I've realized that not only has it flown by, but I'm enjoying it. Being with my girls and watching them grow up before my eyes is pretty special. Sometimes it feels mundane, the day in day out stuff, but if I take the time to reflect on what I'm really doing, I remember that it's amazing. Not me, but the service of raising & guiding little girls. I'm so thankful that I can do it...

Motherhood

You never know what kind of mom you're going to be until you have a baby. You can dream, idealize, and even ponder what motherhood will be like, but you cannot really know. I knew that because I had been a teacher who really believed in boundaries and discipline, I would probably want to parent that way. Because of that background, disciplining has come pretty naturally to me. I've read several books, blogs and articles on the subject and when Maddie came into the world, I felt I had a good grasp on the kind of mom I was going to be. But now she is 2 and a half; actually more like 2 and three fourths and the ways in which I think about parenting her have changed. It doesn't have to do with her age as much as it has to do with the fact that she now has a 10 month old sister in the mix (Happy 10 month birthday to Grace yesterday!). You see, we had one of those mornings. You know the type. Where it feels like the day has been sooooooo long and you look to see that it's only 8:14am. Where you wish that coffee were injectable because it would be a fast shot of caffeine to your system. Where the only toy that each wants is the one the other was playing with so happily before it was snatched out of their hands. That's the day I'm speaking of. This morning we had an incident. The short version is that Maddie was annoyed (her fav mood these days) at Grace for following her up the stairs. Grace was on the 4th step, Maddie was at the top telling me to "get Gracie Mommy." As I was walking to get Grace, Maddie came bouncing down the stairs, placed her hand squarely on Grace's forehead and with a small amount of force proceeded to push Grace down the stairs. First things first. Grace was fine. Didn't even cry, landed rather Gracefully (excuse the pun) and was content to be in my arms. Maddie looked shocked, and fearful at the same time. Me? My blood was boiling. If you are a mom, you know the feeling. My first instinct was to put her in a time out, in her crib, in her room with the door closed. So, that's what I did. Let's just say that I put her in her crib with a little bit of force (was trying to be unemotional but felt very EMOTIONAL). I then went to call Gabe. I asked him what to do. I told him that even though we have chosen not to spank our kids, this was one of those times where I thought a spanking was in order. We agreed on her punishment (left her in there for a while, had her apologize to Grace, kept her nigh-nigh from her for a while until she could treat her sister nicely) and I calmed down. It was that mother bear instinct that came up. The one where you protect your young from anything...even your other young.
The point here is that before I was a mom of course I thought about spanking. Would I do it? It had been done to me and I turned out fine. Was there another way to discipline? Etc. I've come to believe that not only is motherhood/parenting individual, it's also fluid. It can change depending on the circumstances. I have to say that I'm proud that I didn't spank Maddie today. There I was trying to teach her to love, to be kind and gentle to her sister; how would that translate if I taught her that by hitting her? Doesn't make sense. So, in all the reason I kept my head was because of God and because of the fact that I've given this some thought ahead of time. I'm grateful that no one was hurt this morning (both physically or emotionally). Motherhood is tricky, but if you do your best I believe there will be great rewards.

Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th to everyone and of course a Happy, Happy Birthday to my Mom ;) Here's a collage of the past week or so. Maddie and I made a 4th of July cake as you can see, I had to capture her curls, Grace is busy and happy as usual, and Dan visited & huzzled the Madster, and Gabe and Maddie had movie night on Thursday! So much fun, so many pic's... Hope your 4th is happy, healthy and safe!

Girls

Grace examines the water puddle in which she finds her hand...

Decides it looks tasty and she drinks like a puppy...

And is SO proud of herself!

Maddie

I've had these pictures to post since last week, but have just now gotten around to it. This week has sort of been a blur of busyness that includes making it to meetings, a cold that knocked my socks off for the past 4 days, going to see Kathy Griffin and preparing for my brother to visit tonight :) Last night I went with Gabe's mom Sandy, his sister Janie and Alexa to see Kathy Griffin (My Life on the D List) do her stand up routine in Maryland. It was hilarious and if you know anything about her style/brand of comedy you know that it has major shock value. There were some off color jokes not to mention her use of her favorite bad word (begins with "f") but once I sort of tuned that out, I laughed out loud over and over. It was a really fun night out and well worth being a little bit tired today.

Other news; Grace has gotten 2 teeth. They have finally cut through her gums (the lower 2 front teeth) and she has been a champ in true Gracie style. Nothing really bothers her. She has the best attitude and I just have to tell you this story. Every morning I wake to the sound of Maddie yelling my name: "Mommy, Mommmmmyyyyyy, etc." I never hear Grace make a peep. As I enter each morning I find Grace sitting upright in her crib looking through her soft book, quiet as a lamb. She sees me come in (I often startle her) and she gets that smile that takes up half of her face. She is one of the best ways to start the day. Maddie, on the other hand, has lots of things to tell me as soon as she sees me. She tells me stories from the night before that include when she got sad when Daddy left and the babysitter came, to the fact that later she ate a lollipop and read books. Even though she has been a bit difficult for the past few days, the fact that she can somewhat hold a conversation is pretty fun.
Dan comes to visit tonight and will be with us until Monday when he goes on business across the bridge. So excited to have him here as he has never seen our home. Which reminds me that we moved into this house literally 3 years ago this week! Time flies and to think when we moved in it was just us and our dogs and we've grown to capacity at 2 adults, 2 kids, 2 dogs and did I mention we got a fish (named Dorothy) this week? Happy Friday!

Puppies!

In case you don't do Facebook, I've put these pic's up for all to see. Lois had her puppies on Saturday and there are 9 of them (5 boys and 4 girls). 8 are doing great, but the one being fed from a bottle is having a hard time. He was eating well last night though, so maybe he will make it. Maddie doesn't believe they are dogs. She thinks they are rabbits, hamsters or mice! It's a pretty quiet day around here. Had a busy weekend and Gabe had a nice Father's Day. He spent time with his girls. What more could he ask for?

Nueve Meses

Grace had her 9 month check up this week. She's doing great residing in the 30th percentile very comfortably. She weighed 17lbs 10oz and measured 27" long. Happy healthy girl and really beginning to come into her own. There are so many things I could write about her to tell you all who she's becoming, but here are a few things that come to mind. Gracie is happy; not just happy here and there, but always happy. She teaches me a lot about attitude considering she always has a good one and the small things in life please her. She stands up and is starting to cruise around on the furniture; just like her big sis at this age. She's daring with her new found ability to climb up the stairs! The other night she was exhausted and I was ready to take her up to bed (yep, take her up not down because she's moved out of the basement and into her actual crib :) she decided to climb the stairs all the way to the top with me shadowing her. She got to the top, her eyelids were red from exhaustion and she was so proud. It was like she couldn't believe that she had just done something she's been planning for a while. I know this because when Maddie and I have to run upstairs real quick to get something, Grace stands at the bottom step and cries. She hates being left out.

Basically Grace is busy. A very busy baby who keeps us on our toes and whom we love to pieces. In 9 short (at times long) months, she's become the perfect missing piece to our little family. We feel complete and that feels pretty special.

Baxter

Baxter 1999-2009
We loved him so much and will miss him even more.

Maddie's Performance at school today :)

Madeline

Some shaky camera work (Gabe :) but notice that Maddie is the one facing the wrong way!



After the performance, parents were allowed to come forward to take pictures and when Maddie sees Gabe and I she cannot contain her excitement!

Dear Maddie

Today I watched you from my car as you played at the playground at school. You looked so independent; running from here to there, your curls bouncing in the wind. You climbed some wooden steps over and over so that you could slide down a big yellow slide with a huge grin on your face. It took my breath away and made me cry. I cried because of how much I love you. Because of you I have been forever changed. You are the first person to make me a mom and I'm so thankful for that. It was your last day of your first year of preschool today and my heart cannot take it. You are such a big girl but still my baby at the same time. I feel overwhelmed with how much you've grown in 9 months; how much you've learned. Right now you love to sing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and you request that I clap when you've finished. You talk in the 3rd person all the time. You always ask me to "huzzle" you while holding your nigh-nigh. Your favorite book is "Everyone Poops" and you have amazing manners. I could not be more proud of you nor could I love you more. You are my little "bug" and my heart.
Love,
Mommy

The "Run In"

It's been a pretty busy week so far. We had our new stove delivered yesterday (love it!) and right now some men are power washing the house. Our garden is planted and the new grill has already been put to good use. Gabe says that "things are really starting to come together around here;" good thing it only took us 3 years!
But, to get to the point of my post. Today I experienced a "run in." If you know me, you may know that I don't really love to run into people when I'm out doing errands, etc. Not sure why. I'm weird, but most of you know that too. So, Grace and I had just dropped Maddie off at school and we needed to go to a store to get some jean shorts and a white shirt for Maddie to wear at her last day of school next week (she's in a performance and this is what they asked her to wear). There I was sitting out in front of the store waiting for it to open with Grace happy in the stroller. Two women came up behind us and were waiting while also carrying on a conversation. Their convo has something about Chick 1's hair at the center of it and Chick 2 is complimenting her relentlessly. At this point they see Grace and then they sort of round the corner to see me. Suddenly we realize that all of our kids are in the same class at school. I've talked to Chick 1 before (several times and have made attempts to have our girls play together since they seem to love each other-hasn't ever happened) but never to Chick 2. She always seemed "out there" and really into talking to others about her work out habits and homemade chips. Can you tell we have nothing in common??? So, we made quick, small talk and then went on our separate ways into the store.
I wasn't uncomfortable while we were talking, but after some thought, I am. I started to think "they're weird." But, then I had an epiphany. I'm weird! I like to keep to myself (just me and my baby). I don't like to have long convo's about my hair or anyone else's for that matter. I realized that they are both out of baby mode (their youngest are Maddie's age), well into their mid-thirties, and they are just a different kind of mom than me. To give a clearer picture, these are the same two Chicks I overheard at drop off one morning telling each other how they were going to the gym that night, but maybe they would tell there husbands they were going to the gym but not really go. They would go out together instead. I remember thinking, "Can't you tell your husband the truth? That you want to see a friend rather than work out?" Bizarre. So, I think that I originally felt weird because I felt like they are a clique and I don't fit in. But then, after thinking about it more I've realized that I'm not interested in being a member of a group that focuses on working out, hair dilemmas and husband trickery. I'm good on my own :)

This weeks accomplishments (so far)

Grace and I have both had a pretty successful week so far. She has gained agility at pulling herself up to stand next to things and I got my teaching license renewal in the mail-good until 2014! :) Feeling very proud...of us both :)

Mail

We went to the mailbox to see what had been delivered. Can you guess a theme in our home? Maddie wanted to look at these privately, but her little sis had other ideas! :)

My Girls

Here are a couple of videos of the girls yesterday. Grace is being crazy during her dinner and Maddie shares her rendition of the ABC's. Enjoy!

Today

I have to admit that I've been really bored lately. Bored with everything. TV shows, magazines, books, grocery shopping, life. That really sounds like complaining and maybe it is. Everyone is allowed to complain now and then; as long as it doesn't become habit. So, today I was bound and determined not to let another day go by being bored. Don't get me wrong. There are highlights to my boredom; Maddie reading her bible by saying "Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus..." as she looks at every page. Or Gracie crawling into my lap and grinning from ear to ear. But, while both of them are adorable beyond words and my life is pretty simple and good, there are some weeks when it sort of lags on. Kind of like I live between preparing meals for each of them, cleaning up after said meals, changing diapers, waiting for one or both to wake from naps so that we can go somewhere, going somewhere only to realize one of them is tired again, blah, blah, blah... you get the drift. Back to me not being bored today, I took one look at my Kitchen Aid mixer and decided to put it to good use. I told Maddie, "we are making cookies today!" She was thrilled. Or, maybe she was a little excited and became thrilled when suddenly I handed her a spatula after we had made the dough, and told her to "go for it." Her big blue eyes looked at me, unsure, and then she was a little girl in heaven with oatmeal, chocolate chip dough everywhere. It was awesome. It was so fun because it's one of those things (making cookies) that you look forward to doing with your kids...but they have to be old enough. Maddie is old enough now and we had a blast :) Great day and maybe it brought me out of my funk. I'll let you know tomorrow. Here's a picture of the cookies as they came out of the oven. The one at the bottom right was snagged by Cookie Monster (Gabe) before I could grab the camera. Classic.

It can be...

a thankless job! I think I'll just leave it at that. Can you tell what kind of day I've had???

I.O.U.

I meant to write a post on Mother's Day. I meant to put a letter in the mail. I meant to sign up for an ASL class. I meant to... That seems to be my theme lately. After getting the wisdom teeth out, it took me longer to recover than I think everyone anticipated. Happy to say that for the last 3 days I haven't had to take any med's for pain (yay!). So, now that I'm back to normal (whatever that is) I thought I'd get around to the things I've been meaning to say and just haven't. I think I'll do it in list form since that truly captures my personality (I love a good list):

1. I'm worried about the end of preschool (June 4) for summer break. I love Maddie completely, but these 3 mornings a week with just Grace and I are amazing. She is my little side-kick (much like Mad was at this age).
   
2. I'm wondering how we will fill those long 13 weeks of summer.
3. I had a great mother's day and realized that I'm keeping the card my husband wrote to me, forever.
   
4. I'm not worrying about where Gracie wants to sleep anymore. She loves the basement (slept there last night for 14 hours straight!) and I'm not fixing something that ain't broke, if you know what I'm saying.
5. I'm planning to take an ASL class because for a while now something has been calling me to do so... Not sure, but really intrigued.
   
6. As of this afternoon I will have officially mailed in/submitted my form/documentation for renewing my teaching license (yay!)
7. I cannot believe that Grace is 8 months old. She is pulling up to stand all the time! They say it goes by fast, but I think the second time is even faster.

I think that's about everything I've been daydreaming to blog. I know I've said this before, but I want/need to blog about what's going on more. I will. I mean to and I will.

Wanting to get it right

I am FINALLY feeling better from my wisdom teeth surgery and so I thought it was time to get back to blogging. Here goes. The girls are not doing well at sharing a room. Actually, to be more honest, Gabe and I are not doing a good job at training them to share a room. We've been taking the easy route. Here's the truth. Every day Grace takes her morning nap in her crib in the room her and Maddie share. That's an easy one because Maddie isn't in there at that time. But, since Grace was small (born) she has enjoyed sleeping in her pack-and-play in the basement. It's super quiet, totally dark and there aren't any two year old's talking her ear off while she drifts off to sleep. She is now 8 months old (in 2 days) and my fear that she has become so accustomed to the basement and therefore won't sleep in her bedroom has become a reality. Here's the point. When the day is long and I'm counting the minutes until peace comes over my home (bedtime), the last thing I want to do is listen to Grace cry while Maddie simultaneously talks to her and yells for me. It's exhausting. I've been doing some reading tonight and it seems that the only way to solve this is to stick it out. Let the baby cry, let Maddie yell. But that seems so daunting because there are days when my whole day feels like I'm "sticking it out." To think that I have to end it that way seems like torture. Gabe has a whole other perspective. He thinks it's fine that Grace likes the basement for bedtime. He thinks that she'll sleep in her crib at night when she's ready and the fact that she takes a loooooooooong morning nap in it means that she can sleep there just fine.
So, what is it then? What is it about me/my personality that desperately wants to get things right? I cannot leave well enough alone. I have friends who are talking/blogging about not getting any sleep and I'm complaining because my kids get an abundant 11+ hours only in separate rooms!?! Any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated. Am I worrying about something that is nothing; meaning, Grace will eventually sleep in her room when the time is right? Or, is it best to try to break the basement habit now and just deal with the growing pains of sharing a room?