A new baby, 2 older kids, visitors, etc. It's been pretty awesome; when it hasn't been so hard.
Let me start with saying that having Mason here is amazing. He's precious and I love him so dearly. I had felt like someone was missing from our family for a while and now I know that it is complete. He is the perfect ending.
On the other hand, having a newborn is HARD. As in, it's so hard I find myself sobbing at times just because of sheer exhaustion. I have a few friends who have 3 kids and they always talked about the level of tired they were experiencing and to be honest, I didn't have a whole lot of compassion. I
The other thing that's been happening in my head lately is that feeling of being homesick. I believe that every time I've ever had a baby, I become terribly homesick. I miss it there.
Various family members have come here to Virginia to meet Mason and more than anything to help me. It's been amazing. When my Mom was here, I felt so incredibly close to her. I loved sharing a part of each day with her as I welcomed my son into the world and into our home. Then, she had to go. I mean, of course she did; she doesn't live here. But the reality of her leaving left me in tears and feeling unsure about what I'm doing. Then, this last week, Claudia, Gianna and my Dad were here. Again, so many laughs, good food and fun companionship (even in those wee hours). But, that too has come to an end. And it left me sad. The visits remind me why I love them all so much and why it's hard to have so much distance between us.
I'm just so grateful for my family. They seriously mean the world to me. It feels like they live a world away and that hurts my heart at times. Often I have reconciled living here with the fact that I can go there when I need to/want to. But with Maddie starting Kindergarten and having a new baby, I know that my visits are going to be dictated more by their schedules than my whims. That will take some getting used to.
So, today marches on. There are children to feed, a baby to bathe and a mommy that needs a nap. I am thankful for everyone who has come here to see me and I want to just sit with that. It reminds me of that quote by Dr. Seuss: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
Let that be my motto for today.