Friday, March 30, 2012

Real Housewives of Virginia: Preschool Edition

There I was the other day, chaperoning a field trip with Maddie.  It was a beautiful morning and we were outdoors.  Lots of other moms attended the field trip and a couple of things really stood out to me.

First, there are some really fun, nice, normal women that have children in my daughters' preschool.  They are very similar to me in fact; they drive minivans, make lunches for their kids, believe in God, etc.
But, there are a couple of moms that are something else.  There are 2 of which I'm speaking and they are both older (by at least 10 years), their youngest(or only child) is the age of my oldest, and they are bullies.  The are friends with each other, in a cliquey way; only I would never want to join their clique because they are mean.  They are also both really loud and aggressive in the way they speak.  I'll call them "thing 1" and "thing 2" for the purpose of this post.

During the field trip, I could feel "thing 1" studying my face while I talked with another mother.  At one point, she interjected (it was breaking news of course) that she "could finally tell by looking at me that I'm having a boy."  "How?" I asked.  (New Rule: Don't ask questions of the bullies.  It's not worth it!)  "Oh," she says, "They say your face/jawbone change shape while you're pregnant with a boy and I can see that's happening to you."

I wasn't sure what to say so I did some nervous, weird laughter and hoped she would move on.  Was this a compliment?  An insult?  It was so confusing and honestly, pregnant women don't want comments on their appearance unless it's positive.  It must be clearly positive.  So, I told myself to avoid "thing 1" for the rest of the field trip.  However, I held on to that comment the whole morning and mulled it over and over; still not making heads or tails of it.

Then, the field trip was over and it was time to pick up Grace from school and her, Maddie and I went to the playground.  As soon as we entered the gate, I noticed "thing 1" and "thing 2" standing near me.  Ugh, I thought.  "Thing 2" approached and asked if we have any baby names picked out or "Are you one of those people who keep it a secret?"  It needs to be pointed out that the tone she used for this part of her interrogation was that of a whiny-sing-song-mean-school-girl.  "Umm," I said "We're still narrowing it down but I'm pretty sure his name will be Mason."  I said this with that excited smile you have as an expectant mother who has thought about this every day since she found out she was pregnant.  "Thing 1" nodded and said "That's a nice name." It seemed sincere, really it did.  "Thing 2" on the other hand, contorted her face and practically made a sound that resembled puking.  "Oh, I don't like that name.  There's a kid in my son's class with that name that I can't stand."

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THIS?!?  In the moment I was caught off guard so I didn't say much.  I mumbled something about liking the names "Gabriel and Micah" too but then I sort of wandered off.  I spent the rest of the day thinking about that interaction.  It bothered me; it still does.  These women are rude and I'm questioning why I didn't say something to them along those lines.  Probably because they are bullies and when you're in the midst of bullying, you just want it to end.  I've made some decisions since this happened.  I've decided that I will be polite to each of them by saying "hello" but that's where our dialogue will end.  I will not share any more details of my life with them.  I will keep it brief.

It was a good reminder for me though about where I am when it comes to standing up for myself when I feel that I've been treated poorly.  Looks like I still have more work to do. 

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Saturday Night Art Club

My girls LOVE to create.  All they ask for all day long is playdough, paint, paper, crayons and markers.  They are obsessed.  For the past few evenings, we've been pretty cooped up with sickness (yes, again!) and so it was time to bring out the paints.  They were in heaven.  There is something so fun about watching them make something.  It's also interesting how different they are.  Maddie wants to only paint princesses and her own hands, while Grace just plays with colors and textures.  It's been a long couple of days of coughing, breathing treatments, and just sickness in general.  I'm ready for a new week!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

My 34th

I had the best day with just Gabe, the girls and I.  It included getting a massage, napping, opening presents (throw pillows and pj's; all chosen by Gracie!), eating polenta with gravy followed by ice cream cake.  Sometimes, that's all you need!  Happy 34th to me :-)

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

What I See

I thought I'd take a moment to share the way things look from my eyes as of late.  The other day, as I was washing eating a ton of strawberries, one fell from my fingers and on it's way to the ground it landed directly on my expanding tummy.  It made me laugh.  As I peered down, I realized that I'm at that point in pregnancy where my shirts are bound to get something on them at each meal and where I can barely see my toes peeking out.  I'm 24.5 weeks today and it's exciting.  Knowing that this baby boy is growing right on track and that I can feel him moving all the time is really fantastic.  I am really focusing on appreciating everything that I feel because this is going to be my last baby. 

As I type this, Gabe and I are on a vacation in the Bahamas.  It's been really good.  It's fun to be able to finish a thought and a sentence.  I've enjoyed meals where I get to eat the whole thing without getting up to get someone more water or a different fork.  But, at the same time, I miss them terribly.  They truly are my world.  It's funny how life is; last week I was counting the minutes until I could shower uninterrupted and now it feels oddly quiet when I can pluck my eyebrows without a barrage of questions!

 We talked to them yesterday and Grace is simply carrying on with life as usual (that's SO Grace) and Maddie is sad.  Last night we talked to Sandy (who has been watching them) and she said she came downstairs to find Maddie sobbing while looking at a picture of Gabe and I.  I was heartbroken to hear this.  She is my emotional one.  She told me before my trip that she doesn't like me to go away because even though she can talk to me, she can't touch me.  I totally get this.  Being hugged, held and loved by people who are connected to you is irreplaceable.  Deep down, she is fine and I have to keep telling myself that.  My heart is so connected to hers though.  I woke at 2:12am and stayed up until around 4.  I couldn't sleep and she was the first thing that entered my mind; actually it was her and ordering a crib.  A mother's mind never rests :)