Wednesday, May 30, 2012
My Sweet Madeline
Tomorrow is the big day; graduation. It's a day I've been both really looking forward to and dreading at the same time. There's a safeness I feel at the preschool; it's become familiar. The teachers, students and parents have basically made up our little community for the past 4 years. It's the only school we've known. Trust me that there have been moments of frustration at the preschool but overall it's been amazing. Maddie has seriously grown up there.
Maddie began preschool the day after I delivered Gracie. So, there's something full circle about the fact that I'm now super pregnant again as she ends her preschool career. She was 22 months old and she barely had enough hair to fit into a ponytail. My Mom and Gabe took her for her first day. I was in the hospital with Grace who was only 12 hours old at the time. Back then, she couldn't write her name, recognize letters or numbers, use the potty or stay up past 7pm; she was basically a baby. My first baby and it was hard to let her go.
So, here I am 4 years later and the neat thing is, I know her so well. She is a real person now; not just a baby. She has thoughts, feelings (major feelings), emotions, and so much love to give. She has one of the kindest hearts I know. She humbles me with her generosity towards others and with her ability to seriously love me just as I am. She also has an amazing love for the Lord. She has these questions about Heaven, and Jesus and I love the simplicity of it all. I'm just so very grateful that she was given to me.
Tomorrow will be here before I know it and the tears I'm typing through are just the preamble to tomorrow's real waterworks. I fully expect to be an emotional mess but I figure I won't be the only one; plus I'm pregnant and hormonal!
Kindergarten is just around the corner and she is ready. She cannot wait. I'm so happy for her, that her life is changing and that she's excited about that change. For me, it will take some getting used to. I still see her as my first little baby and it's heartbreaking (in a good way). I want to still protect her from everything; I never want a single bad thing to happen to her. But, I know that's unrealistic. So, tomorrow I will watch her performance and clap and take tons of pictures. I will try not to cry too much and I will be present. Afterwards, we will go out to breakfast as a family and she will get her new charm bracelet as a graduation gift.
And, I will remember it always.