Wednesday, March 7, 2012

What I See

I thought I'd take a moment to share the way things look from my eyes as of late.  The other day, as I was washing eating a ton of strawberries, one fell from my fingers and on it's way to the ground it landed directly on my expanding tummy.  It made me laugh.  As I peered down, I realized that I'm at that point in pregnancy where my shirts are bound to get something on them at each meal and where I can barely see my toes peeking out.  I'm 24.5 weeks today and it's exciting.  Knowing that this baby boy is growing right on track and that I can feel him moving all the time is really fantastic.  I am really focusing on appreciating everything that I feel because this is going to be my last baby. 

As I type this, Gabe and I are on a vacation in the Bahamas.  It's been really good.  It's fun to be able to finish a thought and a sentence.  I've enjoyed meals where I get to eat the whole thing without getting up to get someone more water or a different fork.  But, at the same time, I miss them terribly.  They truly are my world.  It's funny how life is; last week I was counting the minutes until I could shower uninterrupted and now it feels oddly quiet when I can pluck my eyebrows without a barrage of questions!

 We talked to them yesterday and Grace is simply carrying on with life as usual (that's SO Grace) and Maddie is sad.  Last night we talked to Sandy (who has been watching them) and she said she came downstairs to find Maddie sobbing while looking at a picture of Gabe and I.  I was heartbroken to hear this.  She is my emotional one.  She told me before my trip that she doesn't like me to go away because even though she can talk to me, she can't touch me.  I totally get this.  Being hugged, held and loved by people who are connected to you is irreplaceable.  Deep down, she is fine and I have to keep telling myself that.  My heart is so connected to hers though.  I woke at 2:12am and stayed up until around 4.  I couldn't sleep and she was the first thing that entered my mind; actually it was her and ordering a crib.  A mother's mind never rests :)

4 comments:

Rosana V. said...

first of all, i LOLed when i saw this picture!! boy that brings me back...absolutely hilarious. and wow...when i read the part about maddie, it was like reading about marley when we went to jamaica. she was hysterically thrilled and overjoyed when she saw us walk into grandma's house upon our return. jack was like, "hey guys. i'm building a robot. how was the trip?" the baby was grinning from ear to ear and gurgling when we gave him hugs and kisses -- "mama, mama, mama." heaven to my ears. but marley...my marley. she was by far the happiest to have us home. jumped into our arms like a baby (nearly knocked me over 'cause she's NOT a baby anymore). those emotional ones...they are so special...

SARAH said...

I know! Our 1st girls are very similar. It's such a strange feeling as the mom because on one hand, I always want her to feel that way about me (like she can't get enough) but on the other hand, I want her to be independent enough to be okay.... It will come in time. Our sitter has taken over caring for them and we spoke last night. She said that all Maddie keeps asking is "Is it Friday yet?" :-)

Anonymous said...

Ah, sweet Maddie. Such a heart! I love the pic of your tummy, pretty funny. Enjoy your last day because I guarantee you that in a week you will be wishing you were back on the beach ;)
-Elisabeth

Anonymous said...

Love it!! Can't wait to see you and the girls can't wait to see your girls again-SOON!!!! Call me ;) xxx Siobhan