Friday, October 12, 2007
Big Scare :(
I'll start by telling you that Maddie is fine, but yesterday we did have a big scare. Gabe's Mom, Sandy, and I took Maddie to her 1 year appointment for a check-up and shots. Well, I already knew it would be a hard day because it's really hard to see and hear your baby cry (especially when they cry like that). The check-up was great. Maddie is now 18lbs 9oz, and 28" long. She's still in the 10th percentile (she's miniature). But, she's met every milestone and has even exceeded some, so the doctor was pleased. At her 1 year appt. she is supposed to have her finger pricked for the first time to look at her blood. That was pretty terrible. She flipped out and hated the woman who was doing it. So, the visit was over and we left and went on with our day.
Maddie and I were shopping for her new car seat when I got the call. It was the doctor from the morning saying that the number for Maddie's white blood cell count was really low and she needed us to come back so they could take her blood again and re-check it. Okay, "breathe" I thought. I seriously had a moment where it felt like a dream/nightmare; "this isn't happening." I asked her what "low white blood cells could mean", and she said "the first thing is to retest, and if that produces the same results then we need to find out why her bone marrow isn't making enough white blood cells." I told the doctor I would rush there with Maddie and I called Gabe to leave work and meet me.
The drive to the doctor was unlike anything I've ever felt. The worst ran through my head-"does she have cancer? is it because I've heated her bottles in the microwave? how will I be able to handle this?" I started to cry and pray "please let her be okay...she needs to be okay...please let her be okay...she has to be okay..." I felt like I was going to throw up and to be honest have NEVER been so scared in my whole life. She's so healthy and watching her get shots that morning had been incredibly stressful; I couldn't imagine watching a child go through any kind of medical treatment for a disease.
Maddie and I got to the doctor's quickly and they saw us right away. The doctor kept saying she was sorry to worry me and that Maddie seems so healthy, so it's probably nothing, but we need to retest to be sure. So, off we went to get her finger pricked again. That was a nightmare. As soon as Maddie saw the woman who pricked her finger earlier, she started to scream. She already knew what was going to happen. They took the blood and Maddie and I waited in the waiting room for the results and for Gabe. Gabe got there, and we waited for 15 minutes while Maddie played with another baby who shared her birthday. We made small talk with other parents, but I couldn't get my mind off of the results we were waiting for. I continued to pray in my head "she has to be okay..."
The doctor came out of the lab room and she gave us the thumbs up! "thank you, Lord," was my first thought. She came and told us that the number was totally normal and that it must have been a lab problem (like her blood clotted too soon in the tube before it was tested). She said the number is exactly what it should be and there's no need to retest in the future or follow up with anything. She's completely healthy.
I think facing that yesterday should remind us of several realities. I think we all take our health and the health of our children for granted, that life is truly fragile, and that the outcome of things is out of our hands. I'm so thankful today that she is a healthy little girl.