Yesterday Maddie was sick...fever of 102 and didn't want to move off the couch. At first I saw this as the beginning to a long day with no where to go. But, I changed that attitude and climbed the stairs to the girls room and opened that closet door.
I've been putting off the organizing of their closet for probably about a year. When Grace was about to be 1, I tried working on it, but felt that I couldn't part with anything. It seemed, at the time, that every item of clothing Maddie had ever worn, had some major meaningful memory attached to it! Well, yesterday before I began, I prayed for God's guidance. I wanted Him to show me what I actually needed and to be able to part with that which I don't. It worked! I was able to get rid of so much that I am sure someone else really needs. Between my clothes (that I don't wear/don't fit) and a large portion of the baby clothes (but not all of them) I filled about 5 large garbage bags to donate. I felt successful. I felt like it was exactly what I needed to be doing with my time and my stuff.
During the massive cleaning out/reorganization I came across my wedding dress. It was so wonderful to see it. I've known that it's in the back of that closet, but I never open the garment bag it's in to actually view it. I did yesterday and I still love it!
I love that I wore a dress that was tea length. I love that Maddie was growing in me when I wore it. I love that Gabe took me as his wife in it. It has so many special memories.
As I looked at it, I realized that the garment bag had pockets and something heavy was weighing them down. I opened the pocket to find a bag which had my wedding shoes in it. I looked at them and then suddenly realized that they had only one word imprinted in the inside sole on each shoe: I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that on my wedding day, the name of my second child was right below my feet!!! In case you don't remember, we never knew Grace's name would be Grace until I was 7 months pregnant. Her name was born out of time where Gabe and I were really experiencing God's grace in our lives. It amazes me that her name was written on my shoe, but at the same time, I don't believe in coincidences. God had a plan for us then, and He sure does now.
"...All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."